by IDS Emotional Health Counselor, Anna Sabino
The Challenges of Having Diabetes and Being a Parent
Diabetes Changes Parenthood.
For example, saying something like…
“I hope my kid has a good time at the birthday party” makes me feel nervous, but so does the fear that said child stole fruit snacks buried in my purse.”
That right there is diabetes in parenthood.
Let’s talk about it.
I have wanted to write about this for a while, but never really had all the right words. I’m currently on a train to go give 2 talks at a Breakthrough T1D community summit. -I love seeing clients in person and meeting new families and networking with old and new colleagues. AND, I have more feelings than I’d like to admit.
I’m beyond decision-fatigued, I’m decision-paralyzed. It lately seems like making a child’s lunch or reviewing spelling words, or letting the dog out to pee to reduce his barking, are more immediate needs than changing a pump site or doing a quick finger prick….It is so damn hard to have diabetes and be a parent. I know I’m not alone here-but with diabetes it just hits different.
Kids, man-how on earth can I incorporate diabetes into the hardest job in the world? I am still learning. I am in maintenance mode now. Married with kids and truly living the dream – I am able to volunteer at my children’s school, create my own flexible work schedule … .but I still can’t strike that balance most days.
Something which has helped this drastic change is, first and foremost, saying this statement out loud
“I wasn’t expecting this.” or to my child, or yours you can say. “You weren’t expecting that, were you.”
- So to the mom in tears in the shower just weeks after your child’s or your own diagnosis. I hear you. You weren’t expecting this. You weren’t expecting to feel this way.
- To the kiddo who had to be pulled off the soccer field mid-game because of a trending arrow – I hear you. You weren’t expecting this low. You weren’t expecting to feel this way.
- To the Mom with T1D-you weren’t expecting this. To be pulled away from prioritizing T1D more than you’d like to admit, yet also feeling so proud of being a parent.
You certainly weren’t expecting for your parenthood to now be dominated by diabetes decisions. It is so hard. I recognize it all, especially the “visible in your life yet invisible to everyone else” mental load. I know I hide my diabetes more than I want to as a parent.
So the next time you’re beyond overwhelmed in your parenthood journey, you might try saying….”welp, I wasn’t expecting this to happen today.” See how that hits.
And I’m always here for it. Don’t be shy-honesty starts with being honest to yourself. Do it for you so you might feel slightly less unbalanced. Learn more about the IDS Remote Diabetes Emotional Support Counseling Program
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